This Is Not the Jenny Schecter Show

I'm about a week late on this post, and I told myself when starting this blog that I would only post things that brought me to profound conclusions, but I realized that
-that would leave my posts very few and far between
-I am a lesbian blogger, and as such, I am obligated to do an L Word finale post

That being said, here are my feelings on Chaiken (we're on a last name basis now), Season 6, and The L Word in general. In list form. It would be in chart form as a final homage, but...that seems too difficult right now.

(These are in no particular order).

10. Who killed Jenny Schecter? Not even Ilene Chaiken knows. But I know. It was the ghost of Dana Fairbanks. She was angry that Jenny did not try to contact her for the tribute video (because God knows she went to incredible lengths to track down people who didn't. really. matter. A trip to the lesbian underworld would have been entirely feasible). See, what really happened is that GhostDana found Jenny, pushed her off the balcony, and...

9. Stole the armor off Xena Warrior Princess and turned her into a cop. No really. I somehow feel like this is some sort of ten-year delayed apology to the queer grrrls of yesterdecade who sat patiently through the entire Xena series for the Gabrielle/Xena hey-we're-lesbian-warriors deal to finally be acknowledged. The last episode does not count.

8. I hate this show. Wait, no, I love this show. Wait, no, I hate it, but I hope it's memories stay with me forever. Wait. This show is like everyone's ex-girlfriend. Touche, Chaiken.

7. This is not the Jenny Schecter Show.

6. I really appreciated the fact that a really cliche reflective look-at-all-our-good-times

kind of ending was avoided, and the fact that all the characters had to reflect upon their relationships through interrogation was ALMOST clever, but Chaiken (boooooo) handled it in an extremely nonsensical (though aesthetically pleasing) way. Really though, the ladies all looked inappropriately stunning in the interrogation room, but the whole thing seemed like more like some bizarre Lesbian Real World confessional starring, yes I'm going to make the joke again, Xena Warrior Princess.

5. Booooo Chaiken for spending the entire season trying to defame Bette Porter. Man-hater, cheater, etc, etc. For shame, Chaiken, for shame.

4. Booooo Chaiken for wasting the penultimate episode on a glorified dance-off! And with no snarky references to Flashdance?! How dare she.

3. I once had a crush on the actress who played Jamie after seeing her in X-Men several years ago. This isn't really relevant, I just wanted everyone to know she made a really cute purple-haired mutant. Oh right, also, her character would have been great and compelling in ANY earlier season. Starting a new storyline and introducing a new character this (half) season was just inappropriate.

2. Max's moustache? Helena's weird boob-cup-accenting dress during the final glamor shots? I don't know.

1. This show has literally become the center of lesbian culture. Ilene Chaiken was entrusted with the responsibility of SHAPING. LESBIAN. CULTURE. It's a big fucking deal. But no matter how much it may have gotten screwed up, we all still watched it, didn't we? If nothing else, it let us know that, yes, lesbians are real, and yes, there can be inside jokes so extensive that they can be shared by an entire community (I'm talking to you, BETTY). No matter how good or bad this series/finale may have been, there's no denying that many a queer grrl, closeted and out, would be sitting in their rooms, doors closed and laptops open, waiting for the next episode of The L Word to load so they could watch it, low resolution, Korean subtitles and all.

Conclusion: Am I going to boo Ilene Chaiken if I see her in the streets? Why yes, of course.
Will I always be glad that The L Word existed to bond queer grrrls and friends alike under the premise that this is NOT the way that we live, but we're glad we can pretend someone does? Yes.

So thanks for six seasons of the first lesbian sex any of us had ever seen, for the Chart, for the most attractive actresses to be found on cable TV, for women we could secretly relate to (sometimes), for that really weird thing you did in Season 2 everytime someone had sex (you know how it goes...Shane Shane Shane Shane Carmen Carmen Carmen Carmen Fucking Fucking Fucking Fucking), and for teaching us that some scenes really work better on mute. Really. It's been good.